Charlie Sheen Never Went to Rehab

While earlier reports suggested Charlie Sheen would be spending three months in rehab, surprise! It turns out he never even left his house in the first place and has absolutely no intention to. RadarOnline reports:
“Charlie was supposed to go to a rehab facility but he absolutely refused to go,” one pal, who has intimate knowledge Read More …

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What’s Up, Katie Couric? (Did I Just Ask That?) And Other News

- Kim Kardashian hates her “exploitative” nude W shoot now.
- Which is why she wants the role of the ultimate sex object, a Bond girl.
- Paz de la Huerta puts her best face forward.
- Justin Timberlake is Lindsay Lohan now.
- God Bless America.
- Irina Shayk in DT Magazine. Read More …

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VIDEO: Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore Booed in Brazil

While arriving at Sao Paolo Fashion Week in Brazil, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were booed after being typical Hollywood assholes and holding up the show for three hours, according to ITN. What’s amazing is how they’re still able to smile for the cameras and make playful chit-chat with each other while the crowd refuses Read More …

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Olivia Munn and I Ponder: ‘What’s Suddenly So Interesting Here? Hmm…’

Here’s Olivia Munn shopping in SoHo over the weekend and I’m not going to sugar coat it, you can see right through her shirt. I know this isn’t the kind of site for that sort of thing, but I felt it was important I brought it to your attention before someone’s kids saw it. We Read More …

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Lea Michele & Hailee Steinfeld Make Nice

After finding out she snubbed a potential Oscar winner and not a lowly peasant – In her defense Hailee Steinfeld was literally dressed like one. – Glee’s Lea Michele has been on constant damage control considering she already has a bad enough reputation as an epic C-word. So, of course, she took the time to Read More …

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Gigi Rivera: Charlie’s Angel #3

While Charlie Sheen gets his usual treatment from the LAPD, Gigi Rivera has been revealed as the third porn star at his house during last week’s 36-hour bender, and there’s a disturbing and undeniable trend forming here. Namely Charlie hiring girls who look barely 13. Obviously, they’re not or I’d be getting Chris Hansen’d in Read More …

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Kacey Jordan Aborted K-Fed’s Baby and Other Stuff She’s Blabbing About

Kacey Jordan has wasted absolutely zero time cashing in on her new fame as one of five – Or four depending on new accounts. – porn stars who serviced Charlie Sheen during his 36-hour coke bender that put him in the hospital last week. Here’s what she’s already spilled in three separate interviews since just Read More …

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The 17th Annual SAG Awards

Despite the fact Charlie Sheen has unleashed a maelstrom of porn stars eager to tell us how much he loves coke and sex dungeons, the Screen Actors Guild still decided to hold an awards show yesterday, clearly just to piss me off. I mean, Christ, they even invited Kim Kardashian which had to be some Read More …

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SAG Awards: Mila Kunis, Also There

Mila Kunis was also at last night’s SAG Awards looking, well, like Mila Kunis. Which is pretty much the greatest compliment I can give a women outside of pointing at my groin and yelling, “Boner, BONER!” and the exceedingly rare, “Tell me about your shopping trip.” Although that last one is more myth than legend, Read More …

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SAG Awards: I Think Natalie Portman Might Be Pregnant

Here’s Natalie Portman at the 17th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards last night looking ridiculously good for a woman who could drop a kid on the red carpet at any second. Granted, I don’t think she’s that far along, but lately I’ve been developed an incredible gift for concocting scenarios that require Mila Kunis to Read More …

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SAG Awards: I Think Natalie Portman Might Be Pregnant

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Henry Cavill is Superman

Back when Bryan Singer was getting ready to bore the world to tears by paying homage to Christopher Reeve via a flying, gay Jesus in tights, British actor Henry Cavill (The Tudors) made it to the final round of casting only to be passed over for Brandon Routh which worked out for the best considering Read More …

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The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 12

Welcome to The Most Important People on The Internet volume that officially makes these bad boys a veritable dozen in an egg crate of WTF. — I have no what I just said. At any rate, what this week’s collection lacks in quantity it makes up for in quality and SNL references that will make Read More …

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Charlie Sheen Pretends to Need Rehab, Calls Us All ‘Turds’

“Addiction? Is that even a word?”
For those of you who haven’t heard by now, Charlie Sheen managed to check himself into rehab sometime between me publishing the “Porn Family” post and transitioning to Miller Time which is incredible considering that’s only a 30-second window. – Quick aside: Why create a “Vortex Bottle” if one sip’s Read More …

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Charlie Sheen Pretends to Need Rehab, Calls Us All ‘Turds’

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Charlie Sheen Wants a ‘Porn Family’

The turkey’s his penis.
Some people might say Charlie Sheen is a violent drug addict who treats woman as objects to be bought and discarded like so many briefcases of cocaine. But beneath all that lies a family man with hopes and dreams of settling down and finding a place to call home with those he Read More …

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Diddy ‘Knocked Down’ The Twin Towers. Also, Babies.

In probably the greatest lawsuit since U.S. Fudge Consortium vs. Homophobic Slants, Inc., Diddy is being sued for $900 billion worth of child support by a woman who claims he not only “knocked down” the Twin Towers on 9/11, but gang-raped her children over a casino chip worth “100 zillion dollars,” so we should probably Read More …

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Courtney Love: The Other White Addict and Other News

(Apparently someone just found out bars don’t serve heroin.)
- Did Ryan Murphy accuse the NFL of gay-bashing, too?
- Kate Walsh : Bristol Palin :: Luke Skywalker : Death Star. (That’s possibly to scale.)
- Howard Stern took Carrie Underwood’s seats. Life is hard.
- Geri Halliwell is like a fine wine.
- Read More …

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Jeremy Piven Banged Miley Cyrus

Nope. No one thinking about rape here.
Jeremy Piven recently gushed to E! News about how great it is to work with Miley Cyrus, yet somehow nobody besides me has jumped to the obvious, if not the only possible conclusion that he banged her in front of a cell phone. No, really, all the pieces are Read More …

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Tracy Morgan On Sarah Palin

“As long as she got them six diff’rent kinds of cheeses…”
Tracy Morgan appeared on TNT’s Inside the NBA last night where Charles Barkley thought it’d be a great idea to ask Tracy what he thought about Sarah Palin which prompted the following response. On live television:
“Let me tell you something about Sarah Palin, man, she’s Read More …