The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 25

Welcome to the 25th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring words said by you about people posted by me. It’s an intimate affair rife with skullduggery and probably the best comment I’ve ever read on the site, saved for last as always. Of course, that’s not counting all those other times Read More …

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The Crap We Missed – Friday 4.29.11

Welcome to The Crap We Missed: Non-Royal Wedding Edition featuring WonkTits, Katy Perry stealing Miley Cyrus’ moves, Ceaser Romero and a clear and obvious sign of an unhealthy obsession.
Pip pip cheerio,
- The Superficial
Click Here to Start The Gallery
Photos: Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
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Jersey Shore Angelina’s Fiance Calls Off Engagement (Read: He’s Not The Father)

Jersey Shore star Angelina Pivarnick accepted a proposal from David Kovacs in February which she hoped to leverage into the show recasting her. Except the same day she said “yes” to a guy who was actually serious about marrying her, she was still banging another dude which is pretty easy to play off if you Read More …

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So Who Wants to See Megan Fox Look Like a Bird Hooker?

Here are stills from Megan Fox’s upcoming movie Passion Play – The one Mickey Rourke preemptively declared as terrible. – and basing it entirely on these photos alone, her character’s clearly some sort of bird-fetish hooker. Or a fallen angel whose last trick, a humble trumpet player named Joseph (Mickey Rourke), teaches her a special Read More …

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Charlie Sheen Writes Open Letter About ‘Two and a Half Men.’ Surprise, It’s Crazy.

“Mm.. eh.. licking your lips is winning.”
With reports coming in that Two and a Half Men is most likely going to be canceled completely, Charlie Sheen felt this would be a great time to send an open letter to Chuck Lorre via TMZ gloating that’s his absence caused the show’s demise:
MY fans may tune in Read More …

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Rihanna Dropped Something and Other News

- Meredith Vieira is leaving The Today Show.
- Kate Hudson explains the nuances of a celebrity shotgun wedding to David Letterman.
- Prince William and Kate Middleton must be saving the freaky shit for later.
- Katie Holmes has bigger nuts than Ashton Kutcher. Well, yeah.
- Vin Diesel is still groping Read More …

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Nicole Richie in a Bikini

I’m going to be frank with you. There’s really not a whole lot going on today that’s not the Royal Wedding, so it’s either Nicole Richie in a bikini or a 40 pic gallery on fascinators. So, if you can’t tell, we flipped a coin. On a bright note, at least Nicole doesn’t have a Read More …

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Khloe Thinks She’s Kim Now

You know how Kim Kardashian is always walking around in tight workout outfits accentuating her gargantuan ass? This is almost like that except horribly wrong in all the wrong places. I almost want to say this is what Kim will look like in 10 years, minus the jowls because she’s addicted to plastic surgery, except Read More …

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Obligatory Royal Wedding Post

“My word, it has ears like your father…”
So by Royal Wedding, I actually meant five-year-old photos of Kate Middleton in a bikini, and possibly the first time she saw the royal scepter. Because if there was ever an acceptable time to say, “I don’t give a fuck, this is ‘Murika,” this is it. Granted, Read More …

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January Jones is Pregnant

Taking into that account within the past 10 months she’s been photographed making a drunken walk of shame, got into a drunken car accident and banged Jason Sudeikis (presumably while drunk), tonight’s announcement that January Jones is pregnant really shouldn’t come as a surprise. Although, it does put her recent interview with Marie Claire into Read More …

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The Crap We Missed – Thursday 4.28.11

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed: Sausage Party Edition with the exception of Melanie Brown and theoretically George Michael. Other than that, I stand entirely by that description.
Entirely,
- The Superficial
Click Here to Start The Gallery
Photos: Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
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Albert Haynesworth is the Greatest Legal Strategist Alive

“If a man only likes white women, you must acquit.”
Redskins lineman Albert Haynesworth turned down a plea deal yesterday for sexual abuse charges stemming from the following incident at a Washington hotel in February. Via the AP:
The eight-page document stated that Haynesworth was attending a birthday party the night of Feb. 12-13 and was ready Read More …

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Olivia Munn in a Bikini For Carl’s Jr.

Olivia Munn appears in the newest commercial for Carl’s Jr. which apparently is The Ten Commandments of fast food advertisements, necessitating it’s own behind the scenes/making of video (after the jump). Granted, yes, Carl’s Jr. discovered there’s an amount of money that will get Olivia in a bikini to endorse fast food burgers, they were Read More …

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Kate Hudson Exposes Her Pregnancy to Daylight and Other News

- Blake Shelton is going to bang Miranda Lambert for the entire month of May.
- Jonah Hill lost a bunch of weight for the 21 Jump Street remake.
- The British have officially given up on oral care forever.
- Sean Penn’s hair wearing a weird shirt and shot at odd angles. Read More …

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Kim Kardashian is Still Cleavagey

Because we’ve already posted one pseudo-celebrity solely because of her cleavage (It all makes sense now, doesn’t it?), here’s Kim Kardashian walking hers down to the nail salon where she apparently waved it in front of all the Asian help. The poor bastards probably go home and frighten their families with tales of how cheap Read More …

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Paris Hilton’s Stalkers Have No Heart

Paris Hilton and her boyfriend Cy Waits were attacked outside of a Los Angeles courtroom yesterday by a stalker who was apprehended before outside of Paris’ house in October. TMZ reports:
Today, Rainford allegedly struck again — sources on the scene tell us he smacked Waits in the back of the head as Cy and Paris Read More …

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Rihanna Gets a Body Scan. Well Played, TSA. Well Played…

Here’s Rihanna receiving a full body scan yesterday which I’m sure had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she’s an attractive young woman with great tits that people want to see naked. She was probably just talking with that accent of hers again. I bet it’s that.
TSA #1: Did she just say, mon?
TSA Read More …

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Joey Lawrence Endorses Donald Trump

After having his ass handed to him yesterday by the president himself, (Or did he? Says these crazy people here and here.) Donald Trump has miraculously received the crucial Joey Lawrence endorsement that will make him a lock for the 2012 presidential election should he decide to run which he won’t. FOX News, of course, Read More …

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The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.27.11

Welcome to the Hump Day edition of The Crap We Missed: Now with 5% more Tiger Whore. Kate Hudson hides her pregnancy under the cover of darkness. Lauren Conrad still gets invited places. This guy’s gonna freak when he sees what Obama did this morning. LeAnn Rimes continues her hunger strike, and The Situation performs Read More …

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Paris Hilton: ‘My Double Almost Hit Sarah Shahi, Not Me’

Last week, Sarah Shahi took to Twitter and tried to give me a word erection which is the only possible explanation for these series of tweets:
- Paris Hilton- worst driver ever. Almost hit me, then ran a stop sign.what if there was a kid around that corner, you dumb bitch
- Paris Hilton- horrible excuse Read More …

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