Selena Gomez Sunbathing Topless (For The Most Part)

Here’s 19-year-old (Seemed like a good idea to point that out.) Selena Gomez sunbathing in Orlando over the weekend and, okay, fine, looking not pregnant. And while I’m being completely honest, its time all of us stop lying to ourselves about Justin Bieber hitting this and start focusing on harvesting His power. I’m talking Read More …

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Bane Looks Like This Now

“I don’t know what raped me worse: The traffic or your quarterback. OH! But, seriously, folks, I’m here to talk about emphysema…”
I guess I should’ve started this whole post off with *SPOILER ALERT* because here’s Tom Hardy in his full Bane getup on The Dark Knight Rises set in Pittsburgh on Saturday where apparently he’s Read More …

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The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 38

Welcome to the 38th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet loaded to maximum capacity with your comments because, and I mean this, you people are the real stars, except when it’s paycheck time and then you’re all mopeds. “McFeely who? I have no idea what that person looks like pantsless behind a Read More …

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The Crap We Missed – Friday 7.29.11

Where the hell did that thing come from? Oh, right, all the Starbucks.
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed: Ass Edition which “ends” – There was no excuse for that. – our week with Kelly Brook’s back bosom, Deena Cortese still bending over, I don’t even want to know and an incredible, if not adulterous, Read More …

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The Crap We Missed – Friday 7.29.11

Where the hell did that thing come from? Oh, right, all the Starbucks.
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed: Ass Edition which “ends” – There was no excuse for that. – our week with Kelly Brook’s back bosom, Deena Cortese still bending over, I don’t even want to know and an incredible, if not adulterous, Read More …

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Why Doesn’t Selena Gomez Look More Pregnantish?

Last month, I spent what some might call an “unhealthy, if not pathological” amount of time trying to prove Justin Bieber put a baby in Selena Gomez. And others might say I obsessively made charts and graphs and graphs of charts before delivering babies in the San Fernando Valley for an entire week under an Read More …

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It’s Not Wise To Flash A Wookiee

“Hold still.. Wait, why don’t you have those dangly ball thingies like me?”

Photo: Splash News, WENN
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Lindsay & Paris Love Each Other Again

I’m not gonna lie: I mostly posted this just to see if the two of them combined would form one interesting “celebrity.” They didn’t. So here’s Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton having dinner together last night after spending a half decade making jealous, catty remarks about the other epically swirling down the obscurity toilet faster Read More …

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Lindsay & Paris Love Each Other Again

I’m not gonna lie: I mostly posted this just to see if the two of them combined would form one interesting “celebrity.” They didn’t. So here’s Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton having dinner together last night after spending a half decade making jealous, catty remarks about the other epically swirling down the obscurity toilet faster Read More …

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Amy Winehouse’s Dad Gave Her Clothes To Fans, Why Does That Sound Familiar?

Ah, yes:
On June 29, 1763, a week after the siege began, Bouquet was preparing to lead an expedition to relieve Fort Pitt when he received a letter from Amherst making the following proposal: “Could it not be contrived to send the smallpox among the disaffected tribes of Indians? We must on this occasion use every Read More …

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Amy Winehouse’s Dad Gave Her Clothes To Fans, Why Does That Sound Familiar?

Ah, yes:
On June 29, 1763, a week after the siege began, Bouquet was preparing to lead an expedition to relieve Fort Pitt when he received a letter from Amherst making the following proposal: “Could it not be contrived to send the smallpox among the disaffected tribes of Indians? We must on this occasion use every Read More …

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Ashley Greene Wore This and Other News

Posted by Photo Boy
- Emma Stone talks about what will undoubtedly be the worst part of The Amazing Spider-Man.
- Pippa Middleton’s ass is educational enough for TLC.
- George Clooney handpicked Ryan Gosling for The Ides of March.
- Olivia Wilde has CGI nipples in The Change-Up. I want my country back. Read More …

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Kristin Cavallari Found The Xanax

Ever since Jay Cutler of the Chicago Bears kicked her to the curb over the weekend, Kristin Cavallari has been walking around looking like someone who got dumped after already posing in a wedding dress and selling the exclusives to Life & Style. Except here she is last night looking surprisingly chipper, so either she’s Read More …

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‘Now, I Am Become Bieber, Destroyer Of Worlds. And This is Selena, She’s Okay.’

I know things like “society” and “facts” are going to tell me this is a just poorly-shot photo of Justin Bieber with red eye, but tell me there’s not something unsettling about seeing an angry Canadian maple-deity with devil eyes. And Selena Gomez has them, too! Now, again, I know “the man” will try and Read More …

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Lady GaGa Bought Her Fan McDonalds, Actually Looked Half-Normal

Half-normal for Lady Gaga that is. Anyone else looked like this, you’re family would stage an Intervention and demand to know where you’re hiding the heroin.
Lady GaGa fans – a.k.a. “Little Monsters” because she rips off Fred Savage too – stood outside Chateau Marmont yesterday and apparently sang to her while she got ready to Read More …

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The Crap We Missed – Thursday 7.28.11

So that’s what “bertiful” looks like. As in, “I’ll do it, but y’all better make me look bertiful.”
Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which somehow has 33 photos in it despite basically jackshit happening today. (See: I wrote a post about Enrique Iglesias’ penis.) Anyway, we’ve got Kristin Cavallari using her frowny face from Read More …

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The Crap We Missed – Thursday 7.28.11

So that’s what “bertiful” looks like. As in, “I’ll do it, but y’all better make me look bertiful.”
Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which somehow has 33 photos in it despite basically jackshit happening today. (See: I wrote a post about Enrique Iglesias’ penis.) Anyway, we’ve got Kristin Cavallari using her frowny face from Read More …

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Enrique Iglesias: ‘I Have The Smallest Penis in The World’

“¿Cómo se dice, ‘Pics or GTFO,’ en Espanól?”
While performing in Sydney on Tuesday, Enrique Iglesias brought a bunch of random dudes onstage and basically decided to let everyone know that Anna Kournikova isn’t with him for the sex. Which is strange because that would mean she’s a Russian woman who enters into a long-term relationship Read More …

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Hugh Hefner is Great At Sex, According To People Paid To Say He’s Great At Sex

“I’m an uncaged bowl of oatmeal! — With cinnamon!”
For those of you just tuning in, Hugh Hefner’s paid to runaway bride Crystal Harris went on Howard Stern and not only she said had sex with Hugh once, but that it lasted two seconds and he never took his clothes off. But instead of just shrugging Read More …

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Jennifer Love Hewitt Will Only Respond To ‘White Kim Kardashian’ Now

“Wait. Should I have pried this door open with a black penis?” Jennifer Love Hewitt found herself thinking aloud. “Or do I let the Wookiee driver open it? God, this is hard, but apparently it’s how you land a husband these day- Hey, you there! Paparazzo. No ass shots. Or I’ll.. I’ll.. sic my mother Read More …

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