The Crap I Missed – Monday 10.10.11

“Aw, ya know, ya just fry one up in bacon, some butter fat, maybe a little more bacon, then some butter fat. Mostly, I just dip ‘em right out of the car seat in some ketchup.” Welcome to Monday’s The Crap I Missed where the important thing is I got the Final Five right. Today Read More …

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Lindsay Lohan Stole $90K In Limo Rides

“Let’s see: Two cameras, one security guard- Eh, fuck it, I’ll just walk in and take shit.” This may come as a shock to you, but apparently Lindsay Lohan obtained some form of goods or services without paying for them, so clearly, this is some sort of mistake because she’s so rich and pretty. TMZ Read More …

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David Boreanaz: ‘Cheating Brought Me Closer To My Wife.’ Oh, Good.

Full Disclosure: Using this photo was 99.99999% of the reason for this post. When David Boreanaz cheated on his wife with just a slew of women (NSFW), he never knew it would become the “bonding experience” that would temper their love for each other and turn out alright in the end. Frankly, he just planned Read More …

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Holly Madison Has Breasts, Beer And Other News Items Of Lesser Importance

“Yes, drink my elixir,” thought Oliver Stone. “Drink ALL of my elixir…” – Mikey Welsh of Weezer predicted his own death. – Jared Padalecki knocked his wife up. – Justin Theroux’s ex is basically Jennifer Aniston now. – Anna Kournikova is still in really, really great shape. Probably because Enrique Read More …

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We Get It, Madonna, Your Face is Hideous

Apparently Madonna is going to take this whole don’t look at her face thing to even more ridiculous lengths because here she is leaving a Yom Kippur service with a blanket over head and going the wrong way until her bodyguard grabbed her. Or at least that’s what it looked like. For all we know, Read More …

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The Most Pregnanty Photo Of Jessica Simpson You’ll Ever See

Or a shot of her leaving another airport Chili’s. Probably shouldn’t rule that out. Here’s an expanding Jessica Simpson at LAX over the weekend where she did a lot of pregnant-ish things like touching her belly, looking humungous and pretty much showing everyone how huge her boobs have got. (Dear paparazzo manning the escalators, you’ve Read More …

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Chaz Bono is Topless

Here’s a topless Chaz Bono lumbering around the set of Dancing With The Stars yesterday, and I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do here. Those nips started out as a woman’s, so protocol tells me I should censor them. But technically they’re on a man now, so that makes them acceptable for public Read More …

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John Mayer is Dying

Thanks to the Dinklage Strut-nanza formerly known as the Emmys followed by Britney and Lindsay continuing to serve as walking public service announcements on never signing your child over to Disney, this story about John Mayer‘s illness got pushed to this morning. Via One Forty Plus: Hi everyone, After several months of going week to Read More …

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The Crap We Missed – Monday 9.19.11

Oh, good, Skinny Jonah Hill plays sports now. Wonderful, science. Just wonderful. Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring an assortment of photos that are almost entirely Emmys-free save for a couple post-show shots and Julie Bowen realizing ABC rigged hers to emit intense heat should she go to a competitor’s after-party. They have Read More …

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The Collection of Parts Known as Heidi Montag Got Drunk

Heidi Montag celebrated her birthday in Vegas over the weekend where she demonstrated the latest feature in top of the line sex-dollery: Life-Like Drunkeness (Now With More Sloppy Bedwetting). On that note, I love this photo of her and Spencer which really captures a day in the Read More …

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This is How Lindsay Lohan’s Been Getting Into Fashion Week Parties

What you’re looking at is Lindsay Lohan pulling something out of her purse, leaning her head down and then making this face in the apartment of Vikram Chatwal, the multimillionaire owner of the Dream Downtown hotel in Manhattan. Now, keep that name in mind as you read this Page Six report from Marc Jacobs’ Fashion Read More …

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Britney’s Doing Her Greatest Hits Now (Yes, This is Going To Be Her Crotch)

It’s been over half a decade since a panty-less Britney Spears stepped out of the same car as Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, showing the world her hairless cookie compartment, so here she is in London over the weekend reliving that magical moment but with a contemporary Britney twist. And by contemporary I of course Read More …

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The 63rd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards

Let’s be honest and admit to ourselves that this year’s Emmys coverage peaked with Peter Dinklage struttin’, so let’s bring this puppy in for a landing and always keep those tiny little struttin’ photos in our hearts. On that note, here’s the rest of last night’s red carpet photos featuring a whole bunch of people Read More …

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Olivia Munn Really Wants You To See Her Side Boob and Other News

Posted by Photo Boy – Eliza Doolittle should have had Olivia Munn‘s seat instead. – Michelle Williams dreams of quitting acting while promoting her latest acting projects. – Sinead O’Connor is suicidal over her Single Seeking Anal classified ad. – Heidi Klum and Seal recycled their Emmy outfits from the Read More …

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Charlie Sheen Gave Ashton Kutcher Advice At The Emmys

“Here’s my pitch boiled down to its purest essence: You hand me all the money in your wallet.” A more remorseful and somber (Read: Broke and therefore deficient in porn stars/hookers.) Charlie Sheen has been kissing Two and a Half Men‘s ass over the past week even going so far as to say he’d love Read More …

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Nina Dobrev Won The Emmys

In a sane and just world, a teen vampire drama riding the Sparkle-wiener coattails of Twilight would have no business being at the Emmys, but then again, they invited the gold-diggers from Real Housewives, so it’s really anyone’s game at that point. Anyway, here’s The Vampire Diaries star Nina Dobrev who if you locked me Read More …

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Gwyneth Paltrow Will Grace You With Her Stomach Now

After whatever governing body saw fit to grant her a Creative Arts Emmy for her Glee cameo, you know the one Lindsay Lohan tried to sue over, Gwyneth Paltrow decided to grace us, the little people, with a glimpse of her midriff, presumably glistened and moistened ever so softly from fairies she picked in her Read More …

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Peter Dinklage Should Win Every Award Show Every Time

He did not just strut. — SQUEEEEE! Seriously, if you don’t want to snatch that up in a burlap bag and force it to mix you drinks from a tiny bar inside you’re fridge, you’ve lost all sense of child-like wonder. I don’t even want to know you. Photos: GettyRead More …

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Christina Hendricks’ Breasts Looked Like This At The Emmy’s

And let’s get the obligatory ginger with giant breasts posts out of the way. By voluminous request, here’s Christina Hendricks at the Emmys Sunday night despite the fact she looks exactly like she looks at every single red carpet event: Huge ass on her chest, weird husband by her side. I know I shouldn’t look Read More …

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The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 45

Welcome to the 45th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet brought to you by the good folks over at FTD’s hydrangea department who remind us that the only way to defeat the harpy queen is to seek the Rainbow Sword nestled in the heart of Mount Dread. Only it’s mythical blade can Read More …